Friday, May 15, 2009
The Gilt Trip: A Rural Adventure
There are folks who make cars and promote them with ads
Where they show that the car is so large,
it can fit in a soccer team, two king-size beds,
and the contents of one garbage barge.
How roomy the car is! The seats come unhinged!
The configurations are endless!
You can fit all your friends...even after a binge!
(You can live in it if you are friendless!)
But in all of those ads, there's one situation
The ad-makers never do feature.
It's the one where a farmer makes use of the car
to transport any sort of farm creature.
They wouldn't want word getting out about this,
but--give me a minute, I'm beggin'--
I'll tell you how great it was, bringing all eight
of our pigs home in our station wagon!
Okay, so the inside was, um...aromatic.
When piglets are nervous, they show it.
But if you need to fetch home a piglet or two,
then a wagon's a good place to stow it!
We borrowed the kennel (we're sorry, dear dog!)
and we brought along two smaller carriers.
They each took two piglets. The kennel
held four. They peeked out from wire-door barriers.
Eight pigs in a car with the windows rolled down.
We paid, rev'd her up, and drove out.
Our cargo was grunting and squealing, but we
drove with glee down the old homeward route.
The car, we admit, needed airing a bit.
But the pigs arrived home safe and sound.
When you don't have a truck, well, a wagon must do
when it's time to haul farm stuff around.
So, ad-men, ad-women, as you sit and plan
for your promos and clever ad copy,
Remember us wagoneers, down on the farm,
with our pigs packed inside our jalopies!
--copyright Mainecelt 2009
P.S. If you're wondering about the title, a gilt is a young female pig.